I call bull pucky.
Notwithstanding the obvious and egregious double standard the school is applying to these children, there are other concerns that I find more interesting and worthy of discussion. The fact is, private schools are not bound by the civil rights codes that govern other public bodies. Now some may question whether that is fair, and I for one do not like broad arbitrary selection capable of any organization serving a public purpose. I do, however, ultimately come to the conclusion that the school is doing nothing wrong per se when rejecting the children of gay parents. Although it's a tragedy, it's the consequence of having a separation between church and state. It's stupid and silly but it isn't wrong, and it certainly cannot be illegal.
With the above said, I do think it is important to note the consequences of the CO school's decision. While no legal nor moral wrong may have occurred (I realize this is debatable), to me it seems like such a weird thing with which the school would fight. First, private schools aren't funded by the government, aside from the basic necessities, such as water, trash disposal, heat, etc. Private schools are even allowed to receive public funding for bus transportation for their students and other academic basics. Overall however, private schools receive little funding from local, state, and the Federal governments. Thus, the bulk of their funding comes from private sources. This was a big reason for the introduction of parochial schools, those attached to and directed by the parish of a church. Donations to the church could be shared with the school. Further, students' tuition payments are another large source of funding. A private school really needs those students.
I remember during my years at Benilde there were so many students whose academics were way below standards. These students were often unruly, incompetent, and insolent. Students, parents and teachers were floored at the fact these kids were never expelled. Indeed, many of them should have been kicked out. However, if a school were to get rid of all its bad apples, it would accrue a big loss in tuition dollars. It also didn't help that a lot of the bad apples at our school came from wealthy families. Those kids could have torched the school and been sent to jail, but they would not have lost their "enrolled" status given the amounts of money their families donated.
Given the situation at my school, I can't imagine how any private institution would want to turn away the tuition dollars of students, let alone students who would succeed and do well in a school (homosexual students, specifically boys, have statistically higher GPAs than heterosexual students). Some might call that greed, but I see it as practicality. In order for a private school to fund it students' education and supply the school with contemporary equipment and supplies, it needs money. Tuition brings in money. Money helps a school assist its students in succeeding.
The next problem I have is with familial privacy. As was said above, private institutions do not have to adhere to the laws public institutions must follow. So yes, legally, that means a private school can discriminate the hell out of its students. Ugly? Nope. Whiney? Gone. Antsy? Poof. There is no end. Private schools may even be allowed to discriminate on the basis of suspect characteristics, such as race or national origin, when not in receipt of public funds. Thus, this school has every right to discriminate against the children of same-sex parents. But again, is this a wise decision on the school's part?
I certainly think no, and even if it wasn't necessarily imprudent, it's arbitrary and a waste of time. A private school simply shouldn't be making scrutinizing glances at its students, especially when it comes to private matters within the home. It can, such scrutiny may be legal, but it shouldn't. What's really stupid about the whole situation in the CO school is that if it simply thought the children were raised by a single mother, there wouldn't have likely been a problem. Admittedly, I do not know the specifics of this particular instance. If the two women were going into the school announcing their homosexuality or engaging in some direct behavior to counter the school's Catholic teaching, that would change my opinion. Based on my limited research (surprisingly, there was not a lot of press covering the facts leading up to the children's ouster) this was probably not the case. The articles I read stated the two women and children were not revealing their identities and keeping a low profile to protect their family. This says to me that there was no intent to create tension or fluster the school's administration as opposed to a staged attempt of activists wishing to garner attention. It also does not sound like there will be any pursuit of a legal remedy, if there would even be one available. Thus, it sounds like the school simply made its decision without effect by the couple. I am guessing here, but it seems like the school "caught wind" of these kids' setup and decided to take action in an attempt to garner support from the larger Catholic/Christian community.
I don't think it's an illogical, unsupported conclusion. The Catholic Church has a very strange way of throwing itself into the gay rights issue in really passive aggressive ways. Jut a few months ago, the Washington D.C.-based Catholic Charities decided to close the doors of its adoption agency after the government granted marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. They felt there was no other option because they were given no religious exemption and would have been legally compelled, if ever compelled, to place children with gay parents. Either that, or lose their funding. Let me make clear that this decision to close the adoption agency did not arise in the wake of a complaint against the agency. The directors just decided it was time to give up. I do not believe for one second it was because they were worried about the above consequences. I think they were passively attempting to prove a point, and at the expense of children desperately in need of good homes. Even if a married gay couple had initiated a lawsuit, the least Catholic Charities could have done was fight in court in order to preserve their ability to help parentless children. Further, no articles I read made any mention of attempts to secure replacement funding for government money that may have been lost as a result of a refusal to place children with gay and lesbian couples. It's irresponsible and most certainly NOT Catholic.
This passive resistance on the part of the Catholic Church is damaging to it. The Catholic Church has been around for a long time. No one thinks any Christian religion is bearing the brunt of unjust discrimination, at least not from the country as a whole. Maybe the Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints, but even that's a stretch. Indeed, that would probably be a hard claim to prove. These knee-bending attempts by the Church to protect its teachings from intrusion by secular law make it out to look like a group comprised of buffoons, not as the weak, oppressed and unpopular. No one thinks the Catholic Church is getting a raw deal. Thus, the Church looks really bad to people outside the Catholic sphere. It also looks bad to people inside the Church. In the case of CO school, a significant part of the governing church's congregation protested at mass and showed support for the couple and the children. A number of quotes from parishioners and other parents from the school expressed great disappointment towards the school's treatment of the children. The vast majority of articles written on the subject condemned the decision of the school. When it comes down to it, the public, and even some people within the church, do not like it and it is weakening the Church. To what extent I don't really know, but reliable statistics do tend to show that the Catholic church is losing followers and support. People are starting to wonder why the Church can't seem to figure out a way to deal with these changes.
Part of why I feel the above arguments have merit is simply because of my own experiences with Catholic schools. The majority of my educational years have been in Catholic institutions. Throughout those years, I've come across many types of families with different beliefs in my schools. One of my close friend's parents are and always have been raging atheists. They hate Catholic teaching, they think its a horrible, oppressive religion that serves no good at all. Yet, their daughter (my friend) attended high school at Benilde with me. One of my friends came from a Judaism-practicing family. I don't think there is anything more unChristian than Judaism, given the fact that they have no appeal to Jesus as religious authority. Yet, she attended Catholic school. One of my good friends was conceived by her mother outside of marriage, and never did marry. No problem there either, nor should there be.
Although I see the point the CO school was trying to make, in reality it's a non-issue. Catholic schools don't generally teach their students what is considered unCatholic behavior, or what groups of people are unCatholic. Rather, schools inject a reasonable amount of Catholic teaching into the lessons as a way to foster in children an appreciation for the Catholic Christian way of life. It's a take or leave situation. The school doesn't have to teach that two women or men who are married are a good thing, but it's unlikely their marriage is going to be taught as a bad thing in schools. It's just not going to come up. Benilde didn't teach me that my friend's atheist parents were evil and unCatholic, but that a belief in God is Catholic, that I should believe in God. It would have the same situation had there been a kid with gay parents. They wouldn't have taught us that it was bad, but rather they would have taught us that Catholicism accepts man and woman unions as marriage. That's probably how the situation in CO would have played out had the children continued their education there. It just doesn't make any sense to deny admission to students for those reasons. Its arbitrary and a big waste of time because the school addressing a situation that will never have an impact.
Of course a big part of the problem is that gay marriage is a hot, controversial issue and will continue to be for probably several decades more. No one really cares whether there are children with atheist or Jewish parents because those groups don't really spark frustration like gays and lesbians do. It certainly could happen however. While it's legal and may not be morally objectionable according to Christian standards, it resounds in one's ears as unsettling. It upsets me especially because I love private Catholic education. If and whenever I have children, I would like them to go to a private Catholic school. It scares me that a school could basically cut short my kid's education whenever it wants because I'm gay. Another reason why this situation is so upsetting is because these children were already enrolled in the school. They have to go through whatever pain they might experience as a result of leaving their friends and favorite teachers. It's sad. It's one thing for the school to say they don't want children of gay parents attending the school BEFORE the children start. It's another thing to uproot them after they've started their education.
As I've said before in previous entries, I have no problem with Christian groups to attacking gays directly. Indirect attacks towards them through people associated with gays and lesbians, i.e. their children, is a completely different animal. I am not surprised that the couple screwed over by the school is laying low. How embarrassing that debacle must have been for them as a couple and as parents. There is no bigger slap across the face than seeing your children suffer as a result of your decisions (or, in the instant case, something beyond your decision). I can take whatever the Church has to dish towards gays, but this just wreaks of impropriety and makes me so angry. Those poor women and those awful people at that school . . . I truly hope other private schools don't accept this school's actions as precedent. It helps no one involved.
I also want to say that I tried posting some of these argument on the Catholic Online. Not a single one met the approval of the editors per usual. But this one did:
"Archbishop Chaput is one the strongest shepherds of the Church whom Jesus appointed to lead us today when there are so many false ideas around. People in lesbian and homosexual relationships must know that they are injecting a moral conflict into the classroom of a Catholic School. The whole thing is very unfortunate for the children of the "couple," but the Archbishop has a moral obligation in charity to the rest of the class and families to do as he did. The Archbishop clearly gave a biblical response to a situation that cannot be permitted in a Catholic School."
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